Tuesday, July 14, 2009


- Relief. Some people feel relieved to have the legal process finally under way.

- Fear. Feelings will shift and change as the divorce becomes finalized and things begin to settle
into a new routine. At times, because you’re human, you may feel fear and panic, but these
moments will become fewer as you move into a post-divorce stage that promises more
optimistic feelings.

- Confusion. Divorce is a tremendous change, and for most of us, it is a great loss. At times, you
may feel dazed or scattered and not as focused as usual. Be sure to ask for clarification from the
person assisting you.

- Powerlessness. Rather than continuing to believe that your spouse is a monster and your are
an angel, see that each of you is partly responsible for the dissolution of your marriage. No one
is bad or good, completely right or wrong. Giving up the role of victim will give you the energy
to move through your divorce with honesty and into your future with confidence.

- Anger. Anger is what is called a secondary emotion, the surface expression of other feelings
beneath. Often, anger masks the feelings of fear and hurt. It also can be used as a protective
devise or a defense mechanism to keep other feelings from surfacing.

- Sadness. With the taking of legal action can come the reality that the marriage is truly over,
and with this awareness comes deeper sadness.

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